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Starting scene... fone rings... i pick up... mom's singing... for me apparently (she is a professional singer)...
Song ends... I think I clapped or something... dad makes some small talk and then the bomb:
me: so how's the passport stuff going?
dad: ohh all paperwork done (he has been saying this for last 10 months)
me: yeah sure dad! how much is *really* done?
dad: abe yaar (not really but tone was such-like) really everything! only thing is Ma and me are going to an
official notary...
me: what the heck for?
dad: We need to notarize our marriage.
me: you need to what???!?!?!?!?!
dad: because passport form needs marriage cert...
me: uhhh... and you dont have one???!!?!?!
dad: nah
me: wha..?!?!?!? :-O
dad: yah
me: so basically there is NO legal proof that you and mom are man and wife?????
dad: nono... we have snaps...
me: you have what??!?!?
dad: blabbers somethng like "wedding photos", "social gathering", "mala bodol pics"... mala bodol=garland
exchange in bong
me: dude you're kidding me right?
dad: No!! in those days no one did marriage certificate...
me: so officially mom can leave you anytime she wants and have you fend for your own dinner cuz hehehe she wasnt even married to you in the first place :-D
dad: uhhh... yeah (i think I detect the first tone of uncertainty precipitated no doubt by the thought of having to possibly face the stove alone)
me: so wait what the heck were you planning to tell immigration officers at LAX when they asked for proof of
marriage???
dad: why we will take pictures... lots of them!!!
me: uhhmmm dad I dont think he will be in a particularly festive mood to enjoy your wedding pics :-S
dad: in india it works in legal courts!
me: in US it dont.
dad: then?
me: go get married.
dad: huh?
me: yeah... go and do what you shuda done 26 years ago... do a registry court wedding (I am doubling over barely able to contain my laughter at this point)!!
dad: hmmm yes that sounds like a good option... more safe, no?
me: yes dad... and while you're at it buy mom a good wedding gift :-D
dad: hehehe yes yes yes... wokkay then we will do that on Monday
me: good.. and dad...
dad: yeah what?
me: good job on the wife... she is hot :-D
dad: what is hot?
me: uhh... uhmm... nuthin... good luck with the certificate!
dad: ok ok thanks... ok bye and call me again four days later... and remember only 5 minutes... no more wasting money (my folks always say this and end up talking for 40-45 mins)
me: yeah sure... have a good one! bye!
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